Don’t Cross Mo Ellery is a wacky girl detective novel by Birdie Horne, which is a pen name used by co-writers Eden Robins and MW Garguilo. Mo is a twenty-something hot mess. The story opens with her simultaneously getting dumped by her better-off boyfriend of ten years and getting fired from her job. It’s loaded with cringe humor and appears to be a new series entering the general lane of Stephanie Plum and Finlay Donovan, only not as good.  Nevertheless, I thank NetGalley and William Morrow for the invitation to read and review. This book will be available to the public August 11, 2026.

The book starts with sex, ends with sex, and has sex in the middle. There’s awkward sex, hot sex, and interrupted sex, with a fair amount of crossover between these types and between genders. Oh, there’s also sex with just one person. I’m not using the word for this. here are some that will enjoy it, or at least find it funny, but it leaves me with a mild headache from rolling my eyes so often.

The premise here is that Mo gets a job as a crossing guard because that’s all she can find. In the course of her duties, she is harassed by a difficult driver who then dies behind the wheel while she’s on the job. In order to find out who killed him, she teams up with an insistent older neighbor and a (precocious, of course, of course, of course) elementary school student, which she doesn’t realize is illegal and unprincipled until midway through. I believe none of these characters even slightly.

It’s possible that I am in the wrong demographic for this book. My memory harks back to the early female detective series that were well written and empowering. At a time when young women needed to hear that they could do anything, including occupying traditionally male occupations, these were a balm. Mo Ellery, on the other hand, can’t find her butt with both hands.

There are poodles in this thing, and they are the characters that I enjoy.

The narrator is Cia Court, who does as good a job as is probably possible.

So there you are. If you still want this thing, you can pre-order it; as for me, I’m out.